Movie Review: The Tortured (2010)

While looking for movies featuring Bill Moseley, I stumbled across The Tortured on Netflix. I read the description and must admit to being intrigued, if not exactly wowed. I decided to give it a shot, being less than 90 minutes, it wasn’t exactly going to be a complete time suck. So hit play an settled in. The first thing to great me was the familiar Twisted Pictures logo, that I have ingrained in my mind as the start of a Saw movie (like Village Roadshow with The Matrix and the Fox fanfare with Star Wars). In any case, this movie doesn’t really need this much of a preamble, if you couldn’t guess from the title, this is your standard torture porn feature.

Movie Review: Stitches

There have been some great some great killer clown movies over the years. At the top of the pile has to be It, but then you have the likes of Killer Klowns from Outer Space, and perhaps Amusement, The Houses October Built, and even Killjoy (as uneven and low budget as the series is). Then you have your films with influential clown elements, like Poltergeist, Zombieland, and House of 1000 Corpses. Now we have a new contender on the battle for killer clown supremacy with Stitches. I doubt it will ever be able to climb to the top of the heap, but there is no denying the entertainment value and the effort put on display here.

Movie Review: Preservation (2014)

Survival horror can be an entertaining sub-genre of horror, it has turned out some excellent films of the years, from classics like The Evil Dead to more recent entries like You're Next. They can be grueling, horrific journeys into the lengths people will go to, the depths of being, in order to survive. Then there are movies like Preservation, on the surface entertaining enough, but feels like it could have used a few more rewrites. On one hand it tries to be realistic, on the other hand it goes a little over the top. Neither side goes to far and they kind of trip each other up, resulting in a middling affair.

Movie Review: Leprechaun - Back 2 tha Hood

Here we are, the final entry in the inexplicable Leprechaun series. Seriously, how did this make it to six movies? Beyond that, how did it rate a remake/reboot/whatever you want to call it? I guess it doesn't matter. I guess they all managed to make some money and warrant another trip into the well. Granted, it did take three years after Leprechaun on the Hood for this to appear. On the flip side, I guess this one did not land as well as the others, as this was the last one to be released prior to the WWE produced reboot.

Movie Review: Leprechaun in the Hood

Five movies in to the Leprechaun series and still I wonder how they kept getting made. Of course, logic tells me that enough people were buying or renting them versus how much they cost to make, making it economically viable for the studio to continue making them. You will notice that the idea of quality never enters the picture. Of course, everyone watching, everyone buying, anyone paying attention always goes in with the highest of hopes only to be let down time after time. I sort of knew from the start watching them all was a fool's errand, yet here I am. Just me and Leprechaun in the Hood.

Movie Review: Leprechaun 4 - In Space

Despite taking 1996 off, the Leprechaun franchise was clearly not over with. I mean, Leprechaun 3 (the first to be released direct to video) was the biggest selling direct to video title of 1995. Consider that the budget could not have been too high, there really wasn't a question that there would be another incarnation on the home video market. It doesn't really matter how bad the movies were, people were buying them, and when there is money to be made, movies will be made. Now, the key is to freshen things up. We have had the gold bit, the wife bit, and then more gold, what to do to bring some new life to the franchise? Send it to space!

Movie Review: Leprechaun 3

Sometimes I wonder how Leprechaun became a series. The movies are not particularly good and only two ever hit the big screen. The first one was modestly entertaining, the second was pretty awful, and the third falls somewhere in between. After the second film failed to gain cinematic traction, grossing $2.2 million (it opened in limited release to about $.25 million), the third film was changed from a 3D theatrical release to a direct to video title. To its credit it was the biggest selling DTV title of 1995. Still, the movie is not all that good. Its one saving grace? Warwick Davis.

Movie Review: Leprechaun 2

The Leprechaun series of movies are kind of an odd duck so far as horror franchises go. With six movies (seven, if you count the recent remake/reboot), only two ever landed on the big screen. After watching this first sequel it is easy to see why. The series is not particularly graphic or salacious, it is kind of a crossover horror/comedy you can use to introduce people to horror in a safe fashion. I guess. The original 1993 movie had a certain amount of charm, a delightful performance by Warwick Davis, and an early appearance of Jennifer Aniston. This one, not so much.

Movie Review: God Bless America

If you are like me, you likely have a number of titles floating around your Netflix queue that have been sitting there a little longer than they probably should. Sitting there, teasing you, waiting for you to finally press play. Well, that finally happened for this little almost gem. I was looking for something a little over the top, something fun, perhaps even a little twisted. I am pretty sure I succeeded with God Bless America, a splattery satire of modern society. It all comes courtesy of the mind of Bobcat Goldthwait. Yes, that Bobcat Goldthwait, star of Hot to Trot and also the director of the Robin Williams movie World's Greatest Dad.

Movie Review: The Houses October Built

It is a little out of season, but the other night I checked out The Houses October Built. Ideally, this is a movie that would best be viewed on or around Halloween, perhaps an October marathon. I don't know and in the end I guess it doesn't really matter. What matters is that this is actually a pretty good film. Despite feeling a bit unfocused on what it really wants to be, it still manages to build an atmosphere, feel creepy, plus it is actually interesting. Once you accept the fact that the characters are not going to be as interesting as the subject matter, you are all set.

Movie Review: The Human Centipede II (full sequence)

I remember with the first Human Centipede movie came out back in 2009, there was so much hype around how gross and disturbing it was. When I saw it, it did not live up to the expectations. Still, I liked it, although I do not believe there was anything else to it other than trying to gross out a mainstream audience. On that note, they succeeded. The mainstream press jumped on it, at least until the next thing came along (currently, that seems to be the Sharknado franchise). It should come as no surprise that a sequel sprang up a couple years later (2011), the surprise may be that it took until now for me to see it.

Movie Review: Killing Car

The other night is was scrolling through my Netflix queue looking for a movie to watch. I did not know what I was looking for, just something older that I may want to write about. I chose poorly and ended up with the 1954 science fiction feature Gog. What a bore that was, sure it had some interesting ideas, but I had no interest in writing about it. So, last night I went back to the well and stumbled across Killing Car. It had a release date of 1993 and had some interesting cover art. As I pressed play, I had absolutely no idea what I was in for. Some would probably say I struck out again.

Movie Review: Mr. Jones

I am actually a little surprised to say this, but I am getting a bit tired of foud footage movies. Sure, I still like the good ones and I am still willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, but I think some fatigue is starting to settle in. The gimmick can be an effective format, but, I don't know, it is becoming a bit predictable. Even with those thoughts in the back of my mind, I took a stab at Mr. Jones. The movie proved to be interesting, to a degree, but sort of reinforced some of the things that are pushing me away from the style. Still, I think it is a movie worth giving a shot to, it is a blend of good and bad, resulting in a compelling mediocrity.

Movie Review: Rape Squad (1974)

The 1970's were a wild and crazy time. While I do not remember much of the decade do to my youth, but reliving it through the movies, well dang, it was a free for all. You could pretty much make a movie about anything you wanted, make it as sleazy and over the top as you want, make it gritty, unsavory, disgusting, anything. You would likely be able to find a home in the grindhouse/drive-in scene at the time. Think about it, what are the chances of getting a movie made called Rape Squad these days? Nevermind what it is about, the title alone would be enough to get you black listed. Of course, it did get re-released as Act of Vengeance, but still...

Movie Review: The Town that Dreaded Sundown (2014)

The Town that Dreaded Sundown, The Town that Dreaded Sundown. Has a ring to it, doesn't it? It is one of those titles that stuck in my head the first time I heard it. That is sat, every once in awhile floating to the surface to remind me that it was there. It was a long time before I got to see it, yes, it was released back in 1976, but it took awhile for a release to find its way into my possession and longer still until I got to watch. As it turns out, I did not like it as much as I thought I was going to, but it had some really good stuff. Now we are faced with a remake, which bypassed a big theatrical release. That cannot be good, can it?

Movie Review: Phase IV (1974)

I love discovering awesome movies by accident, and that is just how I stumbled across Phase IV. At some point I added it to my Netflix queue, and there is sat until I noticed it was about to expire. So, with nothing else planned to watch, I selected it, pressed play, and sat back. What I experienced was nothing like what I expected and pretty much everything I liked. All I really knew about the film was that it was from 1974 and was a man versus nature film, specifically ants. I mistakenly thought the film was going to be more along the lines of Them!, but was pleasantly surprised to find something wholly different.

Movie Review: Norwegian Ninja

Do you ever watch a movie and wonder just what the hell you are watching? I had that feeling last night. It was a movie I had never heard of before, but had somehow found its way into my Netflix queue. To be honest, the only reason I was even watching it was because it was about to expire. I am sorta, kinda, maybe glad I did. I enjoyed the movie, but it seriously had my head shaking as I tried to wrap my head around the abject absurdity that was dancing across my television screen. The movie is called Norwegian Ninja. It has nothing to do with ninjas. Fortunately, it does have something to do with Norway.

Movie Review: Bloodsport

There was a time (probably ongoing in some circles) when everything was an either/or decision. Coke or Pepsi. Star Wars or Star Trek. Superman or Batman. Jason or Freddy. Schwarzenegger or Stallone. Seagal or Van Damme. It is this last one that brings us to today. You see, sometimes when you make a choice you dismiss the output of the other almost out of hand. That is what I did with Van Damme, I was a Seagal guy. This dismissal of many Van Damme films has led me to discover, so many years later, that I never saw Bloodsport. I have no idea how I got this far in life without seeing this classic mini-masterpiece of martial arts cinema.

Movie Review: Blue Ruin

Much like The Babadook, Blue Ruin came to my attention amid a decent deal of hype. No, it was not quite Babadook level, but virtually everyone who has seen it has had nothing but positive things to say about it. Of course, this raises my level of skepticism a few notches. Surely it isn't that good, is it? I purposely avoided full reviews or plot descriptions, but I also avoided the movie as a whole for awhile. It popped up on Netflix not long ago, so I added it to my queue and there it sat, starring at sappily with its big blue letters. Daring me to watch it. The time has come and I watched it.

Movie Review: The Colony (2013)

If you like post-apocalyptic movies, you have probably noticed the shift in the cause of the apocalypse. We have had nuclear war and disease for a long time, lately, though, it seems like the vehicle of our impending demise is weather. Climate Change (or Global Warming, if you prefer) is sending us towards the next Ice Age and there is nothing you can do to stop it. At best, all you can hope for is to survive long enough to see society disintegrate only to be reborn in a form that more resembles some medieval past. An example of this done well is the excellent recent Snowpiercer. Another recent example is the direct to video entry The Colony.