Movie Review: Epic Movie

Why? Can you please answer me that? Why would I put myself through this? Why was it made? What purpose does it serve? I saw Date Movie last year, you would have thought I would have learned me lesson. I guess not. It is rather stunning how it seems like no one can make a good spoof anymore.

I am always willing to take the bullet for you. Perhaps that is my fault. I walked into the theater, which contained three other patrons and waited for the lights to go out and the camera to spin up. When it did, I was confronted with a film that was trash of epic proportions (ha, I made a funny). For a movie whose sole purpose is to lampoon epics, they had an odd sense of what is considered epic. Among the non-epic targets were Nacho Libre, X-Men, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, not to mention Snakes on a Plane (and wasn't that pretty much a spoof of action movie conventions already?).

The scenes that were lampooned were strung together in a haphazard fashion and strung together with voice over and other clunky devices. There did not seem to be much thought as to how everything fit together. I was watching Hot Shots the other day, and it made me sad to think that we have gone from that to this. Where exactly did it go so wrong? Stringing together spoofed scenes from other films does not make a movie, it didn't last year when they put out Date Movie and it doesn't work now.

I get the feeling that the writers get together and think about the memorable scenes from these other movies, lay them out and then try to link them. Instead of that, they should pick the formula and then fit the spoofs to that. This just does not work, is not funny, and still makes money (yes, including mine). It makes me angry that something that is as bad as this can get past the pitch.

If you are looking for a movie that imitates your favorite "epic" films, this right up your alley. If you are looking for a movie that takes the time to have a story and actually be funny while spoofing said films, well, you are just going to have to keep waiting. Even better, go watch Young Frankenstein or Airplane or Naked Gun or Spaceballs or even Austin Powers or the original Scary Movie. Any of those movies would be better watching than wasting your time with this.

Actually, there was one humorous segment, if you can believe it. It involves Darrell Hammond doing a riff on Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Swallows. It was actually pretty funny. The four leads were not al that strong. Kal Penn is better than this, we glimpsed a little range during the start of 24 season 6, and I saw the trailer for his upcoming The Namesake which could move him beyond the sophomoric comedies he's been doing. Then there is Jayma Mays who seems to be doing a weak impression of Anna Faris. Adam Campbell and Faune E. Chambers round out the primary four.

Now, allow me to apologize for the poor structure of this review, but it was done on purpose. Reading this simulates the haphazard experience of watching this in a theater. Please, just promise me that you will not subject yourself to this. If you choose to go ahead and see this, I will not assume any responsibility to what happens to your IQ.

Not Recommended.