July 2, 2015

2015: Worst "Films" of the First Half

Now, you can’t have the good without the bad and I have seen some bad movies inside the theater walls this year. Still, I feel like I have done a pretty good job avoiding some obvious clunkers. Among those I managed to avoid this year are 50 Shades of Grey, The Longest Ride, The Wedding Ringer, The Boy Next Door, Hot Pursuit, Child 44, and The D Train. Of course, maybe I am wrong and those are all amazing movies. Maybe one day I will find out. In any case, here are the current five movies residing at the bottom of my list:

5. Jupiter Ascending. This movie is a mess. I never felt like the movie wanted to draw me in. There would be a scene of perfunctory exposition followed by an extended action sequence, wash, rinse, repeat. Jupiter never felt in awe or surprised by what she found, the space opera elements felt out of reach. It is like they combined Dune with the uppitiness of a period costume drama.

4. While We’re Young. This is a movie I sort of feel I should like, but I don't. I really don't. It embraces its hipster tendencies and never looks back. I feel like there are some good ideas here, but I cannot stand the execution or these people. This is one to skip.

3. Gunman. There was little chemistry, sloppy exposition, and no emotional or even exciting pull to the plot. Frankly, once it got to the end, it felt a bit like a sermon wrapped around an action movie. By all means, use your movie as a political/social platform, but give me a reason to care. If you are looking to fall asleep, this is the “action” movie to help.

2. Unfinished Business. Do you ever watch a comedy and wonder where the funny was? Of course you have. Well, add this one to the mix. The latest Vince Vaughn "comedy" has landed with a thud. It just played out like a limp noodle. There was no life, no spark, nothing to be interested in.

1. Mortdecai. The problem is that he movie has no heart. The chemistry is less than stellar and no one seems to really care. Everyone goes about their business and I never once feel involved. Sure, the trailer makes it all seem pretty funny, but when it gets to the film, it never comes together. It moves along at a brisk pace, keeping the jokes firing, but more often than not they simply fall flat. It wants to be Peter Sellers and The Pink Panther. It is not.

There you have it. Here is to another six months! Then we will see how the full year falls out.

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