May 5, 2013

Movie Review: Top Line (1988)

My march through the Sci-Fi Invasion has slowed a touch. Yes, it has been a few days since I last visited the set, but rest assured, I am still aiming on completing the challenge, no matter how much of a chore it turns out to be. I am honestly still holding out hope that there are still some gems in there. Unfortunately, the latest film is not one of those hidden gems. It is a movie that if I were to recommend it, I would say to fast forward through the first 70-minutes and just watch the last third.

The movie in question is called Top Line, an alternate title is Alien Terminator. The 1988 film is an Italian production that seeks to combine science fiction elements with an Indiana Jones styled adventure. In a way you could look at this as a precursor to Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, the similarities are uncanny. Look at it as a rip off inspiring the original, not saying it is good or bad, but the relationship is pretty interesting.

Franco Nero stars as Ted, am author stuck in South America looking for a story. He is about to get one. He gets a lead for some hidden Nazi gold in a nearby mountain. He heads off to find it and in relatively short order, he finds it. It is not all that he finds there. The hidden cavern of gold also plays host to an alien ship. This discovery puts Ted on the wanted list, pursued by Nazis, the CIA, the KGB, and a few others.

Top Line is not exciting, interesting, or involving. It is a boring slog that is a genuine challenge to get through in one sitting. Still, it is not completely without merit. It gets genuinely crazy as the ending approaches, not really enough to make the thing worthwhile, but it may be worth just watching the insane bit.

An android shows up out of nowhere to chase Ted, and promptly melts half of its face off with fireworks. This chase leads to a confrontation with Ted's ex-wife, who also happens to be his editor. Let's say slimy aliens are involved and revelations that the aliens have been here, infiltrating society of hundreds of years.

It all seems like too little too late. Up until the dawn of insanity the tale just meandered around, being real talky but not having much to say. It is the sort of movie that after about twenty minutes you begin to wonder why you continue to watch, it doesn't see, to be going anywhere and is not interesting. This is where people like me come in, those willing to subject ourselves to films that the general population just can't.

Top Line was directed and co-written by Nello Rossati (The Sensuous Nurse) and was his follow up to Django 2. That was the first official sequel to the original. This film saw him reunited with Django star Franco Nero. I have not sen Django 2, but I here it is not a lot better than this. Frankly, I am not sure what else to say about this one other than skip it.

Not Recommended.

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