October 4, 2011

Horror-A-Day: Alive or Dead

Day 3 of my October horror marathon has concluded. I have also concluded that I need to start watching some better movies if I expect to make it all the way to Halloween. I started strong with Basket Case but I took a big step down with Oasis of the Zombies. I was hoping to have a bit of luck with day 3, but I knew there was still a chance for a let down, especially considering I targeted a recent unknown quantity. Generally, when it comes to recent horrors, the good ones are known, even the smaller titles. Sadly, I picked poorly again. I cannot say it was quite as boring as Oasis, but that does not necessarily mean better.

The movie is called Alive or Dead and it plays like a bit of a mish mash of Wrong Turn and maybe a little Jeepers Creepers. It is a horror film with a limited budget, a small cast, and a story that may have been halfway decent had they put a little more time and a few more rewrites this could have been whipped into something that would have gotten that word of mouth amongst fans. Instead we have a movie you will stumble across on Netflix, shrug your shoulders and press play, much like I did.

Alive or Dead starts off with a Maria (Ann Henson) having a round of phone sex with her boyfriend as she drives down a lonely highway at night. Sounds like a good start, right? Especially when her car charger isn't used for her phone like it should, something tells me that could void the warranty.

In any case, she comes upon a black painted school bus with the words "Help Me" scrawled on a window in what looks like blood. At the same time, she runs over a couple of perfectly placed nails and loses two tires. She eventually gets out of the car and checks out the bus, discovering body parts and a girl chained up with a mask over her face. Before she can do anything, a guy returns to the bus, throws another body on board and starts driving. Maria promptly falls asleep on the bus. Makes sense.

She wakes up to find the bus has been driven out to the desert and some sort of castle. She frees the chained girl and learns her name is Sarah. Together they wander around, inside and outside the home and learn the inhabitants are cannibals. Lots of running, screaming, bad decision making, walking, staring, more running, more screaming, and more bad decision making ensue.

There really isn't a heck of a lot to say about this. It really goes nowhere and has plenty of inexplicable things happen that make little sense. I mean, besides the fact the two girls return t dangerous territory multiple times, there is the amazingly unstoppable fat cannibal, and that guy in the monk rob out to avenge his daughter, not to mention when the girls do get away, the fat guy catches up awfully quick with no apparent vehicle. As appealing as the cover may be, don't get suckered into it, unless you want to watch a bad movie.

Not Recommended.
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