January 16, 2005

Movie Review: Darkness

You know, when a movie gets made and then put on the shelf for three years, that is not a good sign. This horror film was snuck into theaters over the Christmas holiday weekend, presumably hoping to make a few bucks off of an unsuspecting public. Sad to say, I am one of those who sadly parted with cash to see this atrocity.

This movie is so bad, it makes Darkness Falls look like Citizen Kane by comparison. The plot is completely nonsensical, I'm not even sure I can describe it, but let's give it a shot. It opens with a family moving to a home in Spain from the US. Next, their son is drawing weird pictures and their daughter is sensing some strange goings on. Their father has some unexplained disease, which makes him angry for some reason. The mother is just blind to everything.

While getting the house in order, the daughter brings home some random guy, presumably a boyfriend, but he is apparently just there as filler. The father finds a picture of three odd looking people which he just has to hang up on the wall. The power flickers on occasion through the house. Then there is some story about seven kidnapped kids who were to be used in some dark ceremony in that very house.

I can't go on with the description, it is just so bad and vapid that you can feel your IQ dropping. The logical leaps are amazing. The cliche of nobody listening to the kids, every adult is blind, I can't take it. There is this scene where the family all leaves except for the daughter who proceeds to rip up the living room floor to reveal some strange symbol. A short while later, the family is back in the house and nobody notices the ripped up floorboards. We get some sort of science experiment gone awry, a grandfather who was/is involved, and the big confrontation in the house, which was built to be a temple.

The acting is awful, the characters are shallow and lifeless. The dialogue is moronic, there is nothing there for us to grab onto. Simply no intelligence whatsoever. Then there are the things in the picture, apparently one of them gets out and can look like other things, which leads to the one good part of the movie the ending, which I have no problem spoiling here. Everybody dies. I guess they had to do something to get people talking on the way out of the theater, although most of the people at my screening were exclaiming, and rightly so, just how stupid what they just say was.

Bottomline. This is just a plain old bad movie. There is nothing redeeming about it. Do not see this, it is a complete waste of time.

NOT Recommended.


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